When I met Adereni, long before she became my life coach, my life was at a standstill. Looking back I can see why the universe brought her into my life when it did.
Imagine yourself as a domino in a row of 500. You are domino 251. Suddenly, a force acts upon the two outer domino pieces sending them toppling over. Thus setting off the imminent demise of the structure, and as the middle piece- yourself. From your position you begin watching it all unfold. Piece after piece the chaos grows closer. As the speed and sound of each fall increases around you, you realize that unlike every other piece in the structure you will be hit twice as hard.
I share this analogy not to overwhelm you. Although that is undoubtedly how I felt in this period of my life, overwhelmed. I bring this up to illustrate how aware I was of the dysfunction in my life. As much as I could feel, taste, hear, and see the different portions of my life crashing before my eyes, I did nothing. As a domino in my own life, I existed without function. Without function I became static, and bounded myself to very limited realms of possibility. Despite my years of higher education, my world traveling, and resulting “extended world view” I was unsure of the power and right I had to access limitless possibilities.
Adereni became my life coach as the last two dominos from each side began to tilt in my direction. Hovering between space and time I could feel their weight beginning to fall on me. It was at this point that Adereni pushed me to understand that the power in changing my life was restructuring my idea of self. I was not a mere domino in a structure, but instead needed to begin acknowledging myself as that initial force that set the structure a blaze. In my time working with Adereni she taught me how to be the source of change in my own life, and how to have complete autonomy over my own fulfillment.
I distinctly recall the first activity Adereni and I completed together. Adereni asked me to identify different categories in my life: family, health (physical/mental), friends, finances, work, etc. After identifying each category I ranked them on a scale from 1-10 ranging from discontent to comfort, respectively. What was revolutionary about this experience was how much rationale I could relay in my responses. “Family is definitely a 3. My siblings and I have never been close. We family as a whole lacks healthy communication skills, it’s been like that since I was a little girl,” I was angered by how much I knew, and was able to share with her.
I went on and on explaining my deep and pained roots as if they were items on a grocery list. I was furious at myself and deeply saddened by the exercise. I was upset because I saw how I had grown to normalize my own sadness. How I had taught myself to rationalize my own discontent, my own self-pity, and I how I was numb to my own circumstances. Adereni being gifted with intuition and empathy sensed my emotions and bestowed wisdom I will always live by. In her own words she explained that anything you understand and feel deeply you can reengineer and redirect. It was at this point I began to feel the power of self actualization. I could no longer fear what I understood, which was myself and my potential. This was only the first of many occasions in which Adereni introduced me to new realms of thought.
Adereni is a life coach because she has an incredible knack for an abundance of interpersonal skills. Adereni is intuitive, she is empathetic, she is encouraging, she is relatable. Due to her humility and transparency she has an impeccable capacity for creating a space that is inviting to vulnerability and authenticity.
However, what I would argue was the biggest contributor to my personal development was Aderenis’ ability to identify strengths and weaknesses in other people. Through this skill Adereni creates action plans for goal achievement, that not only tap into your strengths, but find ways to conquer your weaknesses.
Using myself as an example, I am a dreamer. I am a dreamer who becomes easily overwhelmed by their own dreams, and what I imagine it would take to make them a reality. As I was traveling on this journey of self actualization, I began to feel overwhelmed by my goals. I wanted financial independence, I wanted to be an entrepreneur, I wanted to travel the world, I wanted to fix the relationship with my family, I wanted to employ my friends. It felt like I wanted too much! So I started shutting down. I didn’t know where to begin! I expressed this frustration to Adereni in one of our sessions. Adereni challenged me to identify one goal on my larger list. From there we exercised a plan to make that goal a reality, ONLY using things I knew I could do in that moment. I focused on wanting a new job, and so my list consisted solely of updating my linkedin, and revising my resume. As that is what I felt like I could accomplish within the time frame we set. I immediately felt a weight lift from my shoulders. I didn’t know this at the time, but Adereni was effectively introducing me to incrementalism, which is now a staple to how I complete tasks. Adereni informed me that focusing on what I could not do or did not know how to would only inhibit my growth. As a larger lesson I learned to give myself the time and freedom to learn and welcome obstacles instead of avoiding them. In this session Adereni taught me that by starting with only what you know you can end up knowing more than you started off with.
In so many ways Adereni is more than a life coach. From her deep respect for others to her ageless wisdom, it’s clear she has found her purpose in assisting others in developing their own. Adereni’s methodology in doing so is heavily rooted in the tools she uses to guide clients. Adereni doesn’t just provide tools to master goals, this isn’t How To Change Your Life in Thirty Days. Adereni truly gives you the tools to rebuild yourself. Adereni supplements her sessions with books you should read, podcasts you should listen to, forums you should be apart of. She wants the dialogue you share with her to continue within yourself, and to grow and to build. Because she understands that true transformation will come from within the client and so she works to empower her clients sense of self.
In my life now I am doing thing I always knew I wanted to do, but was terrified of doing. I’m having conversations I’ve needed to have years ago for the first time. I’m revolutionizing my entire life, one incremental step at a time of course.
Although new challenges still terrify me, I now know I’m strong enough to get through all of them. I am much more open to the idea of life being a learning experience and a journey worth fighting, loving, and crying through. I acknowledge my capacity to evoke change and see myself as a force only I can stop. I have Adereni to thank for this new grip on reality and for the woman I am working to be.